How do you respond when someone ignores you or even insults you? What if it was someone you love and trust? What if it was someone you would normally expect to be on your side and to help you? What if it was Jesus?
Jesus went away from there, and withdrew into the district of Tyre and Sidon. And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” But she said, Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed at once. Matthew 15:21-28
Jesus and His disciples were outside of the Jewish comfort zone; they were in Phoenicia, which is modern-day Lebanon. He was approached by a Gentile mother pleading for her daughter who was demon-possessed. She claimed a Jewish title for Jesus, though she was not Jewish, when she addressed Him as “Son of David.” It was not her title to use but it did demonstrate her recognition of who Jesus was and perhaps her attempt to honor Him and thereby get His attention.
Jesus’ initial response amazes us – He was silent. Here a woman, an anguished mother, approaches Him in what seems the right attitude of humility and pleads for mercy for her daughter and Jesus says nothing. In fact, the disciples find the woman annoying and beg Jesus to send her away because she would not shut up, which means she was persistent in her pleading.
Is this the Jesus we have come to know? In the face of an earnest plea He remained silent? It gets worse. He told the woman He did not come to her and her people, but to the house of Israel, i.e., “Sorry lady, you’re not the right ethnicity for me to help you.”
The mother drops the Jewish title for the Messiah and says simply, “Lord, help me!” We sometimes speak grandiose prayers, even when we’re praying alone, as if magnificent words will persuade God to act. Her prayer reminds me of Peter’s when he was walking on water, looked down and thought, “Uh oh!” He cried, “Lord, save me!” The prayer of this Gentile mother is the simple prayer that we often utter in desperation when we have no other words to offer: “Lord, help me!”
And not only was her prayer simpler, she worshipped Jesus. She fell at His feet as she pled for her daughter. But it gets even worse! After she utters this plea Jesus more or less insults her by saying, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” In other words, this bread is for the Jews and you’re nothing but a Gentile dog.
This isn’t the Jesus meek and mild we’ve heard about. Neither is this the Jesus rough and wild who cleansed the temple and challenged the Pharisees. This seems to be a calloused Jesus, an uncaring Jesus, a Jesus who must have had more important issues to deal with than healing a demon-possessed Gentile girl.
Sometimes God is silent. We don’t like that. We don’t like silence in general because our world is filled with noise and we don’t trust silence. We want answers. We might be serving faithfully, sinning minimally and repenting when we do, focusing on our relationship with God, and still He is silent. God’s silence can be deafening when our hearts are crying to hear His voice.
Jesus was silent when the woman approached Him but He was present. And note that He came to her, to her town, to the very “dogs” He referenced. Even in silence, God is present and aware of our needs. Jesus also never shut the woman off or refused her. What sounded like an refusal and insult could have been a test of her faith (there’s another concept we’re not too fond of). In silence, seeming rejection and insult, there was a ray of hope. Again, He was present, He was listening, and He did respond. Perhaps the woman found hope because the conversation was continuing, because Jesus had not said no.
This mother dealt with non-responsiveness, a lack of compassion from the disciples, and an insult, yet still she pled with Jesus. We see a mother’s heart who won’t give up because she loves her daughter and wants her healed. We see a woman’s faith that persists in the face of repeated rejection. “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.“
I can imagine Jesus beaming when He responds, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” Jesus had ventured into “enemy” territory and found a remarkable faith from a woman who was willing to take what He offered, even though it was crumbs from the table. Guess what believers? You have a seat at the table!
God may be silent, but He is there. You may not receive what you want when you want it, but that does not change who God is or the fact that you are unworthy of receiving anything from Him. It is only because of His great grace and mercy that we can even think of partaking of the crumbs on the floor.
Lord, grant me the faith of this woman, the faith of the fallen crumbs, and help me to trust you in the silence, in the darkness, and in the uncertainly life brings. You are present, You love me, and You want me to exercise my faith. Forgive me for not trusting you. Amen.