I have an older brother that has been referred to by several terms over the years, some of which are no longer acceptable to use. In current lingo he is Developmentally Disabled and is a Special Needs Adult. He lived with my parents for most of his life, then they all moved in with my family, and then he transitioned to a group home that he loves.
In the weeks before Christmas, he began experiencing anxiety standing and walking. He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with us. When he walked, very reluctantly, I had to hold him by the arm or put my arm around him. We also noticed that he was having difficulty using his hands while eating, although he managed.
Bubba (apparently I couldn’t say “brother” properly when I was very young) has always been able to care for himself in terms of the basics. This behavior was unusual so his group home scheduled an appointment with his primary care doctor and sought a referral to a neurologist.
To make a long story much shorter, Bubba went to the emergency room on December 28 and has not come home since. After many tests and much angst it was discovered that he had several issues going on in his neck with the result that his spinal cord was being compressed. After surgery to replace a disk he is in a rehabilitation hospital slowly learning to use his hands and legs again. He has been wonderful through it all. A big reason is that, like most of us, he likes being waited on. Being hospitalized is actually a fantastic experience for Bubba. He has charmed the doctors, nurses, CNA’s and occupational, physical and speech therapists. Bubba is a big flirt, an easy laugher and gets along with everyone. I am confident he will recover, if not totally, enough to regain a measure of independence.
Throughout this experience I have referred to Bubba as a “special needs guy” as I describe him to people that don’t know him. It seems to be the code that people understand. But I’ve started thinking about that term – special needs. As I looked into it I found a variety of definitions and descriptions. Most can be reduced to the idea that a person needs particular accommodations to deal with life because of a disability or condition. It has become accepted and part of our language.
Today, a speech therapist was observing/helping Bubba with his lunch. She mentioned a conversation they had the previous day. Bubba dropped some food and said, “I’m not perfect.” The speech therapist assured him that no one was and she didn’t expect him to be perfect. Bubba then added, “But I will be one day.” He went on to say that one day he wanted to hear, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” The speech therapist, a Christian, began crying.
I share a special need with Bubba that is related to an inability rather than a disability. I have an inability to do anything about the consequences of sin in my life and the result that sin leads to. This is a special need each of us shares although not each of us realizes it. We are all special need guys and girls. This is a need that no one on earth can help us with. It is a need that can only be met by the sacrificial love of a Savior.
Bubba, who smiles a lot, typically receives a prize at the end of each day for his therapy work. In this picture he had received bling in the form of plastic beads. One day Bubba will receive the best prize possible and he and I will stand tall side by side and rejoice that our special need was met. I look forward to that day.
Well written and a blessing to read.
Glad Bubba is on the road to recovery, thanks for sharing some of his story with us.
I’m floored. I started reading this article and realized that I know Bubba. I do the the vending in the cafeteria where he would normally spend his Monday through Fridays at. Bubba is a nice guy and since we both love the Florida Gators we would talk about that some. Praying for him to get better.
Jon, we love you and your family. Bubba could not have been placed in better hands for a family during his stay her on earth and yes, one day he will stand tall before our Creator and her those words” well done”.
Well said Jon! I will always be grateful for and never forget the great times with your family back in the day. Your Mom, Dad, Grandmother and of course Bubba always made me feel like a part of the family…..Bubba is a special man ( who always gave great hugs….even if they were sometimes bone crushing 😉)…..we can all learn a great deal from him…..
God bless you all and continued prayers for Bubba’s recovery.
Jon, this is so beautifully written. Bubba is a special guy — the kind of guy who teaches people a lot without even trying. You capture that here. Also, like you, I am so grateful my inability is coverered by the only One who could.
Blessings!
Jon- this is beautifully written. I am so glad Bubba is doing better. We, many, have been praying. I guess we all know now where your “charm” comes from. Blessings! MEP
Oh, Jon. I love this so much. Most of all, it is a huge blessing to see my joy-filled friend again after so many years. His smile has not changed, and I know it brings joy to all who meet him. Thank you for penning your loving words about your brother and sharing them with us. Please give Bubba a hug from Kayla. <3
Thank you for sharing Linda we have such fond memories of the Kendrick family at FBC at Orange Park from their Dad pitching on the soft ball team to the great sermons he preached to his admissions of “he had everything right but the facts “ his sly since of humor touched a lot of people! Thank you John & family for taking care of your dad Carol your Mom Carolyn & your brother Bubba ! The stars in your crown will be many! Bless you all and are praying for a speedy recovery for Bubba!
Thank you Jon for your message. Your family has always been special to us. Precious memories of the love and respect they gave us. You and Bubba are prove of God’s blessing to all of us.
This really blessed my heart. Bubba is a very special fella who has been used to bless so many. I look forward to seeing him in heaven some day standing straight and tall and smiling that famous Bubba grin . Thanks Jon for sharing your thoughts with us. Time after time your words address the very need of my heart. I love you, brother.
Jon, I was so excited to run across this today as I think of you guys often. You are such a blessing to Bubba and I wish him nothing but the best in his recovery. I am doing good just getting older. Tell my buddy Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh how he loved to tease me about the Steelers every time I saw him. I have so many memories of the good times we all had. I know your girls are all grown up now. Any grand kids yet? I have the four plus 1 great grand daughter who is 2 1/2 now. My youngest granddaughter Leah who is Kathy’s daughter is a cadet at the U S Naval academy and loves every minute of it.We are so proud of her. Hope you all are doing well. Dot
Thank you, Jon, for the eloquent way you reminded us of our same special need–Jesus!