I have an older brother that has been referred to by several terms over the years, some of which are no longer acceptable to use. In current lingo he is Developmentally Disabled and is a Special Needs Adult. He lived with my parents for most of his life, then they all moved in with my family, and then he transitioned to a group home that he loves.
In the weeks before Christmas, he began experiencing anxiety standing and walking. He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with us. When he walked, very reluctantly, I had to hold him by the arm or put my arm around him. We also noticed that he was having difficulty using his hands while eating, although he managed.
Bubba (apparently I couldn’t say “brother” properly when I was very young) has always been able to care for himself in terms of the basics. This behavior was unusual so his group home scheduled an appointment with his primary care doctor and sought a referral to a neurologist.
To make a long story much shorter, Bubba went to the emergency room on December 28 and has not come home since. After many tests and much angst it was discovered that he had several issues going on in his neck with the result that his spinal cord was being compressed. After surgery to replace a disk he is in a rehabilitation hospital slowly learning to use his hands and legs again. He has been wonderful through it all. A big reason is that, like most of us, he likes being waited on. Being hospitalized is actually a fantastic experience for Bubba. He has charmed the doctors, nurses, CNA’s and occupational, physical and speech therapists. Bubba is a big flirt, an easy laugher and gets along with everyone. I am confident he will recover, if not totally, enough to regain a measure of independence.
Throughout this experience I have referred to Bubba as a “special needs guy” as I describe him to people that don’t know him. It seems to be the code that people understand. But I’ve started thinking about that term – special needs. As I looked into it I found a variety of definitions and descriptions. Most can be reduced to the idea that a person needs particular accommodations to deal with life because of a disability or condition. It has become accepted and part of our language.
Today, a speech therapist was observing/helping Bubba with his lunch. She mentioned a conversation they had the previous day. Bubba dropped some food and said, “I’m not perfect.” The speech therapist assured him that no one was and she didn’t expect him to be perfect. Bubba then added, “But I will be one day.” He went on to say that one day he wanted to hear, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” The speech therapist, a Christian, began crying.
I share a special need with Bubba that is related to an inability rather than a disability. I have an inability to do anything about the consequences of sin in my life and the result that sin leads to. This is a special need each of us shares although not each of us realizes it. We are all special need guys and girls. This is a need that no one on earth can help us with. It is a need that can only be met by the sacrificial love of a Savior.
Bubba, who smiles a lot, typically receives a prize at the end of each day for his therapy work. In this picture he had received bling in the form of plastic beads. One day Bubba will receive the best prize possible and he and I will stand tall side by side and rejoice that our special need was met. I look forward to that day.